How Does A Sexless Marriage Happen?

How does a sexless marriage happen? How do we start out in a relationship full of intimacy, love, sex and laughter - then find it spiralling downward year after year after year, until one day you look at your married sex life and despair at the quality, and amount of intimacy that you are getting.

Sometimes the causes of sexless relationships can be quite obvious. Serious marital problems like living in a marriage after infidelity for instance, or where serious illness is preventing sexual interaction, or when very obvious psychological conditions such as clinical depression come into play. Many people however fail to see a consistent thread as to why their marriage lacks intimacy and this can be very frustrating.

There is usually no one single problem that causes sexless marriages though. It is a combination of many factors that can for a barrier to intimacy. Often the sexless husband or sexless wife will not even know the reasons themselves as they are lodged deep in their subconscious.

How a sexless marriage happens is often linked to one major part of any marriage with poor communication which is resentment.

Lots of small instances of resentment can build up over time to make your married life strained and the ability to think sexy and get sexy quite hard. When you turn to your wife for instance and in her conscious and subconscious mind there is a tumult of negative thoughts like:

• Why doesn’t he clean up after himself
• Why does he dislike my mother
• I hate the way deals with my friends
• Why doesn’t he shave more often

Or a man who is not interested in sex might think:

• Why doesn’t she stop nagging me about my work
• She puts so much pressure on me
• She keep commenting on how hot those guys on TV are and I know I am overweight

These might seem tiny scruples and on their own is usually not a big deal in a relationship. When they form together though this forms a wall of resentments that make you un-attracted to your partner very often. It is often your own small resentments that build up that can also make the way you talk and interact less than attractive as well so be warned!

This is not the only reason of course. Depression, anxiety, physical ailments, serious relationship issues, diseases and many other large factors can also come into play but they are usually more obvious. This is the small sneaking thing that ruins healthy sexual relationships and also poses a danger to your marriage in general!